Love Infusion

Chester was released from the hospital on Thanksgiving day and is back home at the Bakery Loft. This visit to the hospital was particularly challenging and Chester is relieved to be home. We are discovering that even in Berkeley, even within the progressive hospital environment of Alta Bates, there are effects of institutionalization that weigh heavy on the whole Body Mind Heart. Especially for those few patients like Chester who are actively "choosing consciousness", the hospital environment is not always conducive to healing or rest. It is a valuable exercise to begin picturing what a true "healing hospital" might look like.

Yesterday Chester received one more appendage to be ever mindful of- the IV bag of antibiotics. A home nurse (once again a very Berkeley experience, yet another left-handed, Buddhist-practicing, slightly sassy health professional) visited the Loft and taught us how to change the IV bag every 24 hours, changing the tubing and flushing the PICC line with saline, all hooked up to a timed pump that doses the antibiotic in a 12 hour cycle. The tubing and bag was akward at first, but we trust that soon Chester will find an elegant way to integrate it into his movements. The IV line is one more call to vigilance for both Chester and his Allies.

As I was flushing Chester's IV line yesterday, slowly guiding saline into his vein, I breathed with the intimacy of the act, of the peacefulness and gentleness of the moment, of the vulnerability and nakedness of all of us. I thought about medicines ancient and new, about the potions and prayers we use to interface with the mystery of our bodies, about holding one another in reverance and gratitude. As the syringe flushed through the thin plastic tubing and into Chester's vein, I sent a swirl of love with it, exhaling my deepest thanks for this breath, this blood, this life, this teacher.

Cross Those Fingers!

Our man had a lousy night in hospital, but was feeling better and "out of shock" by mid-day. He's in a less-than-optimum space - sharing the room with 3 other beds, one of which likes watching screamy-ladies' game shows and which naturally grates on Chester's nerves... (Oh, for the private room he enjoyed at Herrick!)
But - not to be too concerned, we figured. He'd be leaving today and - snap! - back at the apartment in no time.
Well... Not quite...
Turns out one of the cultures from Chester's head tested positive for a staph infection, so he'll be receiving an IV antibiotic for 14 days (1x/day) at home. For this, he'll need a "pick line" (sp?) that will provide ready intravenous access - but the specialists for doing that procedure (it appeared for most of the afternoon, at any rate) wouldn't be available until tomorrow (Thursday) morning at the earliest. Which dashed our hopes of Chester being released today.
However, as I was leaving (about 530p) his night nurse dashed in and said that they'd managed to add him to the queue for later tonight - and started prepping him for that. As there's been no word to the contrary, I'm assuming that all is progressing nicely and that Chester will indeed be released tomorrow in time for dinner here "at home" (his words) on Forest Lane. (And if he's not, for whatever reason, I've told him that the Turkey will wait for him! LOL)
So my dears, he's rallying in this slight off-set from the game-plan, but naturally looking forward to getting OUT and back to living! We're going to enjoy the 4 days of R and R - and then he and I will need to discuss his financial picture, which is growing rapidly bleak. (In accordance with his "complete transparency" policy, y'all will get the gritty details once we've grappled with them - and we'll be looking for good advice, bureaucracy short-cuts, prescription-drug assistance (his chemo alone is running $2500/month), etc...)
For the next four days though, life is going to be peachy and pumpkinny and full of well-savored moments with those held closest... May yours be likewise! xox Jaime

Carving B4 Turkey

An unexpected whirlwind of activity today...
Dr Tang, Chester's neurosurgeon, called yesterday in response to the second complaint of his "noisy" head-wound and asked that CM show up for (what we thought would be) another relatively minor procedure to inspect and re-close the site. Instead, when he arrived this morning, he discovered that Tang would be opening the entire area, inspecting all the tissue as well as the skull/bone-flap before re-suturing the area closed - which would, obviously, require a general anesthesia. That didn't set very well with Chester - who, understandably, is sensitive to such unexpected "curve balls" in regard to his treatment - but he breathed through the anxiety and knew it was "an ounce of prevention" to keep a potentially ugly infection from taking hold.
This development, however, kept us from an appointment this afternoon with his oncologist, Dr Hartman, and it's also knocked to a new t0-be-determined date the follow-up MRI he was scheduled to have tomorrow (Wednesday), wherein the team looks at what the tumor cavity is doing now that the daily chemo and radiation have been completed. Arrghh!! Who told Mercury it could go retrograde?? LOL
Suffice to say, however, that, other than some annoyance and blood pressure spikes, Chester tolerated the event today very well. Because the day dragged on, the hospital is keeping him overnight and will release him tomorrow. And they'd better let him out - because we're doing Turkey on Forest Lane come hell or high water this Thursday!
We send our grateful THANKS this holiday for all that we have and for everyone we hold dear. xox Jaime

Just the Details

How to begin sharing days so richly lived? How to speak of the shared breath, the honoring touch, the awareness and presence shared amongst a group of exquisite beings?

What to say about Chester's teaching? His daily climb up a mountain of stairs so that he could sit with a circle of students. His acute presence to his embodiment, each moment demanding vigilance for survival. The Teacher so Full of Teaching, and the Effort to Articulate. The reverant laughter, the sweet sorrow, the ferocity of simplicity, the call to the breath. The Touch that still sings of the Love of the Flesh. The Breath that Opens Us.

More will come. More will come.

But for this moment, a partial update of Chester's physical state of being.

As I write this, Chester is once again with Dr. Tang in surgery, a procedure that was not scheduled until just yesterday. Breathe. During class, he began experiencing a squeaking noise coming from the persistant hole in his head. 95% of his surgical wound has healed up beautifully, and yet the top most area (least blood flow, most scalp tension) still is an open wound. After two additional sets of sutures to attempt to close it, it remained open and vocal! The squeak could be heard across the room, and was not only both disturbing and a alarmingly amusing ("the junkyard terrier swallowed a squeaky toy!") to Chester but also a potential site of infection. So this morning Dr. Tang opened the incision a bit and cleaned the area, examined for any complications, and will sew him back up. Chester has met all of this additional challenge with grace and ease, and we continue to support him in a dynamic dance of finding comfort. I will report more on the outcome of today's procedure after I see Chester tonight.

Tomorrow is Chester's post-treatment MRI. This will be a significant look inside Chester's radiant head. You will be kept up to date on what is seen with that lens as we know. Chester continues to sit with both hopefullness and plenty of room for the unknown.


Meanwhile, rehabilitation continues and an excellent team of women from Rehab without Walls is guiding Chester in an inspiring course of rehab. June, the Occupational Therapist, is (in CM's words) a "miracle worker" and "trusts his right side more than he does". He is starting to gain small amounts of flexion in his right ankle, a great sign of continued muscle and nerve regeneration. Sensitivity and movement continue to flirt back into his right arm, and we are preventing a locked hand posture with constant stretching, massage, and relaxation of his right hand.

Chester has never waivered in knowing how well-held he is by an enormous spiral of friends, family, students, healers, visionaries. We FEEL your love and support, not just "sense it", we FEEL your presence EVERY DAY. Chester and all of his support team have Enormous THANKS for all that you have done, and we have not once felt a lapse in presence from our friends far and near. Do not ever doubt-- all of your breath, prayers, and pleasure that you have offered up has reached us, has come flooding in and is breathed in with gratitude. I will ask Chester if he wants to dictate a personal message to you all here on the blog sometime soon.

More to Come.

"Keep it Easy" ~Chester Mainard

In Realness, In Mystery. In Breath, In Touch

The past two weeks held us in gentle grace as Chester and an open circle of students immersed ourselves in Chester's Deep Tissue Intensive.

Immersion in an embodied learning circle is a powerful experience, and this time Chester invited us to journey deeper yet. This is a timeless space, one of complete focus and presence. I acknowldge that there was not much said on the blog during this time.

I look forward to sharing with you all the experience of Chester's Deep(er) Tissue class. I will begin today, but know that more will come, in the form of blog entries, other writings, audio, and imagery.

I will begin with a few images. More to come.

"Simply make a commitment to the breath. . . " -CM

Sunday Ceremony

Aloha, All.

This is a quick report of my experiences atop Pihanaokalani Heiau yesterday at 5:00 PM. As anyone who actually accesses the Blog will know, there was a short, but intense ceremony of rededication at that site and time. To get to this place one has to travel through the "Hawaiian Homelands" area of Wailuku. The neighborhood was "jumping," but no one hindered my progress and it was as though they understood my reason for being there -- in general, if not specifically. The place is awesome. To the east the impending dusk was held at bey by the crest of Haleakala, to the south, the entire sky was pink and hazy, to the west fog was spilling out of the sacred Iao Valley accompanied by a wind that denotes to me the presence of the aumakua, to the north the sky was darkling, the sea, darkening also, but disturbed by a tugboat towing a large barge toward the west.

After clearing the space and settling into the required Hawaiian pattern of breathing -- I opened the way for any and all energies that have Chester to heart. Those of you who were there will recognize the full depth and breadth of what was thus brought together and with that I know that there is still a tremendous core of support for our friend, even if this has not been reflected in the Blog. As a final seal, though, as I descended again from the heights of Pihanaokalani, I was "escorted" by a dragonfly -- not rare in that place, bordered as it is by Iao Stream -- but unusual to be found so relatively high up. (For those who are not familiar, dragonfly is our guide through "illusion.")

I have to admit -- I am relieved. On the other hand, it is clear that there are things going on with our friend that are not being reported by those closest to him. Yes, lives have to go on. No, no one expects slavish devotion -- either to Chester or to those of us who love him. But -- there has been NO REAL INFORMATION regarding him on the Blog for 2 weeks. As the above meager message denotes, I cannot supply real, factual information from my distant vantage point and what I get psychically often makes me afraid. So, rather than fill this Blog with my "hunches and speculation" I call on those close to him to illuminate.

This being the case, I will not be posting at any time soon, until or unless I have actual communication with those at ground zero.

Aloha nui, my family, and happy holidays!
Bill

The ineffable lightness of being

Aloha all:

This is a "subliminal" message from the Heart of the Pacific. It has to do with Chester. I am (unfortunately) sensing a withdrawal from ANY engagement with our friend. To be honest about it, he has invited this by his insistence and his truly courageous fighting will -- but now, more than perhaps at any time in his progress through this trauma, he needs us. So -- I am enlisting your support -- all of you -- whatever trials he has put you through, they are vanishingly small compared to the rich rewards each of us has had from knowing and interacting with this unique individual. I cannot, and will not, abandon him -- and right now he NEEDS us. I am calling for a renewal of our commitment to our friend. I will be conducting a most sacred ceremony atop the most sacred spot in my home town of Wailuku on Sunday at about 5 PM Hawaii time -- (this is 7 PM California time) -- to rededicate my energies to Chester's recovery. He has only started on the road -- and the glories of it, as wonderful as is all that has happened to date, is yet a bit in the future. Please join me in support of Chester.

Aloha nui loa, my family,
Bill

Images from the Circle

Deep Tissue, Day Two

The Master Teacher

A circle of 14 students, 3 assistants and one Master teacher has gathered for the past three days for Chester's Deep Tissue class. It is with reverence and awe that we find ourselves back in class with Chester only ten weeks into his rehabilitation after surgery. As he says, "changes, changes", and indeed class looks a little bit different this time around. Yet I am struck by how much is the same.

As the circle sinks into the Anal Breath, settling into a relaxed presence, a luxurious spaciousness is achieved. From here, the magic flows freely.

As Chester guides us in approaching the body with "exquisite care and whole hearted love of the flesh", we begin touching one another with beautiful care and kindness. From here, we fully meet one another.

As we allow our whole beings the space and permission to be present, emotions flow freely and there is space to hold both the raucous laughter and the sweet sorrow.

As the Master Teacher returns to the classroom, the profundity of his teachings is crystal clear. To be fully alive and awake, to meet one another as embodied allies, to be breathing consciously, to allow all of our bodily wisdom. The simplicity of the teaching is disarming, and as we sink into the learning together, the sweetness is palpable.

And as we continue through this two-week course, we will be sinking deeper in, holding the mystery and awe in our hands and hearts.

The Past Week's Update

With The Deep Tissue Intensive beginning today, I'd assume there will be many posts forthcoming in relation to it, so thought I'd throw in a couple of more "mundane" episodes over the past week or so before they got lost in the trail.
Chester visited his neurosurgeon, Dr. Tang, for a follow-up visit this past Tuesday. Dr. Tang hadn't seen CM since the surgery, but was getting updates through his wonderful Assistant Jessie (who has been a true cheerleader for us). He's not an easy man to read, but I feel fairly confident in saying that he was particularly impressed with Chester's progress. After 9 weeks, CM's walking and speech is way ahead of the curve!
The only "complication" (if you can call it that) to our visit was Dr. Tang's inspection of the "blow-hole" in Chester's head. (There's been a pea-sized hole since the surgery that has been regularly weeping and needing constant cleaning. While it had dried up quiet nicely by the time of the visit, Tang saw that it went down to the skull and presented an unacceptable infection risk. So, "if we had the time," he suggested our walking over to Alta Bates ER where he could anesthetize his scalp, cut into the area for antibiotical irrigation/dressing, and then re-suture the area, closing it up nice and tightly. This took about 90 minutes and was a relative breeze.)
Another milestone was reached this past Monday when CM finished his current course of chemo & radiation. He will have one month off from the chemo - during which time he'll have another MRI to determine what the inside of the brain is doing - and will then do an "intensive" of 5 days of chemo (at 3 times the previous dose) each month. (Don't quote me on that - things change!) He also has an appointment to see the Oncology people at UCSF, which is considered the Leading Edge in all things brain-cancer related...
You must know that he was terrifically excited - and nervous - about returning to teaching. But with (I believe) 20 students partaking in the Deep Tissue course, he'll have plenty of energy and support to follow though. His 2 class assistants and 1 personal companion will reign him in, help pace him, and enforce his rest when needed... And, my understanding is that there will also be some filming done of the teaching - a true legacy (not to mention a testament to our boy's Will and determination!)
The settling into the Emeryville loft also continues apace... The confounded hospital bed has been banished (!!YES!!) in exchange for his queen-sized futon, which, once his Tempur-Pedic foam cushion was added, gave him "the best sleep" he'd had in weeks... Another small but important victory!
And yes, as you might imagine, Chester is already quite popular in his new community. In fact, the manager's husband (who live right upstairs in a pinch) lived through his father's battle with glioblastoma, so feels a particular affection for the Cheeky one. The units on either side of him are also now rented, so that the apprehension some of us may have had at him feeling isolated (or without help in an emergency) are fading away as well...
It's ironic to say that Life is fairly peachy for him at the moment, but indeed that's exactly how he feels. Chester's eyes burn with the fire of life and love and ever-present laughter and his verve for finding new ways to be, do and teach are truly inspirational... But I'll let others who are attending this milestone intensive provide further details. xox Jaime

DEEP TISSUE Intensive Begins NOV 5

Just in case you've missed it, Chester is indeed teaching his
DEEP TISSUE INTENSIVE,
beginning this Saturday... and there's still room for students!

Please contact Body Electric School for details at 510/653-1594.